Back to ME now.

It has been quite a few days since I posted on here.

I was sick, the kids were sick, I have been playing way too much Pocket Frogs and Bees on my phone. I have been helping at the school, I have been sleeping, and I have had kids with homework. Oh, and I also just haven't had much time to be alone with myself to think about things.

This weekend, I finally, yes, I said I finally made progress on my Christmas decorating. I finished my front porch ( aka my smoking room, the sun room, the only place that is mine all mine for 80% of the time.) I posted a bunch of pictures on Facebook, and a LOT of hecklers and haters out there criticize me for decorating early. I think they are all waiting too late.

Why do I put up Christmas trees before Halloween? Again, there are plenty of reasons why I do it. And I will defend myself.
1. I LOVE CHRISTMAS!
2. I LOVE to decorate!
3. I LOVE looking at all my hard work!
4. I LOVE the sparkle and the glitter!

Those are the good reasons. I do not understand why people will decorate the weekend after Thanksgiving, spend tons of money and time to make their house look like a showplace, and then rip it all down 5 weeks later. How do they have time to ENJOY it all?? They rush rush rush to get it done then the whole season is upon them, parties, playdates, plans, vacations... when do they have time to sit and ENJOY just looking at their work, and reflect on the meaning of it all?? I on the other hand, spend hours and hours planning what I will do, then more hours and hours executing those plans. I feel GREAT when I have it done, and I can sit by myself or with my family and just thrive in the MAGIC of it all.

I do understand that there are MANY people who couldn't care less for decorating, or who cannot decorate, or who just see it as a chore. Well... can I ask a favor? Don't try to bring ME down because YOU don't feel the way I do about it all. I am sorry your excitement of the holidays has been sullied. I am sorry you do not see the magic and beauty that I do in fairy lights and sparkly ornaments. I Understand people who have cats or ferrets may not want to decorate, since the furbabies do LOVE sparkly things and are very curious about them all. I Get that. (We once had a cat who destroyed a tree within minutes of it going up. I was disappointed, but took the tree right down.) I also understand those that do not celebrate Christmas. I respect your beliefs. I embrace your rights to your religious holidays. I am HAPPY that you have faith in something more! But please, respect me, and my beliefs and my 'insane' early decorating. I just want the feelings of Christmas to last as long as possible. :-)

For me the build up to the big day is the most important. Once Christmas is past, I begin to tear everything down immediately. I do not normally wait until New Years. The very next day is the packing day. One year, I even packed it all up Christmas night...

You may ask, if I love it so much, why do I not leave my stuff up and out all year? Easy answer to that!!! If it was up all year, it would not be special anymore. It gives me something to look forward to! It builds the excitement and helps me get through some tough times! Antici---------PATION!!!! Wonderful for the psyche!!!

Now those are some of the reasons, but there are other, darker, reasons that cause me to skip over "holidays" and move on to my favorite.

I will quickly surmise. My younger son is a twin. His Twin died the day that they were delivered. October 29. So Really?? I need to relive this every year?? No, I do not. It really ruined the holiday for me. So I skip it. It does help that Younger son is deathly, phobically, afraid of scary stuff, and so  it is really no skin off my nose to pass on decorating for Halloween. I also have issues with celebrating a holiday based on DEATH, when my own loss still cuts thru my very soul every single time I think of it.

As for Thanksgiving. Well, I truly do not see why people must set aside ONE day in the year to be thankful. I am thankful every day. We eat turkey whenever we want to, we eat ham whenever we want to. Why must we try to have a day where the ENTIRE purpose is to show off someone's culinary skills, eat until we are sick, usually sitting with people we can't stand or do not have anything to say to. Can you not have a dinner party anytime you want to? And then you only have to be around the people you actually like! I have seen hundreds of movies with Thanksgiving dinners, and sure it LOOKS like an ideal moment in the year. But it brings together people who do not want to be brought together. Inevitably, someone gets drunk, or says something insensitive, or brings up bad things from the past... I know that I don't really care for this at all. I do respect those who do celebrate, and I wish them luck, and want their recipes, but for me, I would rather have a stress free day, with people I love and care for, ANY time of the year. OK... so maybe I am also a bit jealous of those "IDEAL" movie scenes... :-) {See I am a big girl, I can admit to myself what is really going on!!! One point for Psyche recognition... and motivation... :-) }I cannot truly remember having a PERFECT Thanksgiving... and so we quit trying, and honestly, I am happier this way!!! Mostly because my group of people who would come to a Thanksgiving dinner is small. Me, my Husband, my Older son, my Younger son, my Mom and my Dad. I do not have much contact with any extended family. They seem to have written me out of their lives. One of my siblings lives far away, the other does not care for me. But my group of people get together all the time, and we are always happy when we do!

Ok... this post is getting too long... and I need to look at my psyche for a bit more... I feel there are some issues I haven't dealt with yet that need some attention regarding holidays...

All my love!!!