And then...

Episode 1.5.

I made it back. That is great, right? Starting something new, making it a habit, trying to actually stick something out. Yep.

So the journey has begun.

Right now, on this day, I am depressed. I admit it, I own it, I embrace it. I do not seek attention, just some kind of validation for what I am feeling lately. I messaged a friend on Facebook about it, and I do admit, that getting it out on to some kind of media does help quite a bit. It truly helps to know that we are not alone on our journey though this life. It helps to know that your issues are not so insanely unique to you. It helps.

Through my journey, I am and have been, over-examining motivations of people. Best to start with what I know. What is my motivation for sharing this publicly, when I could just as easily have created a journal with a password, so that no one else could read it, keeping my personal thoughts to myself? Well, where is the fun in that? I only hope that somewhere, some person who can relate, will. That you or someone like you will be able to say, "Yeah, I get it." Maybe someone will be helped, or will help me. You never know. Maybe someone will find me funny. Have a great laugh. Maybe they need it. Maybe you need it. I know I need it. Also, I think a journey is more enjoyable with people to share it. Through most of this, I know I will be on my own. Trying new things, re-trying old things. Seeking a connection. But it is good to share. Get some perspective. See things through the eyes of others. You know, right?

So far, I have really said nothing, but then, too much both at the same time. Time for some background, introduction, or some reasonable facsimile of either.

I am Catherine. I am mom to two special needs kids. I am wife to a man who works. I am a daughter to elderly parents, one of whom has some kind of "old timers" stuff going on. I am a friend to a great variety of people. I am a college graduate with my B.S. degree in Psychology (yes, let the heckling begin, and the puns...) I live in Southeastern Tennessee. I am the baby of three siblings. I am unemployed. I am a volunteer to my children's schools. I have two children in heaven. I am not a pet owner anymore. I am a bleeding heart liberal. I am a Christian (well, sort of... I am a recovering Catholic. If you get the joke, then you are a step ahead already!)  I am trying to find my place in this lovely world.

So right off the bat, you can tell I have a very easy life. Never a moment of trouble. Oh, I forgot to mention that I am also 42. I graduated in 1987--- right when the world went to shit. Or became extremely technologically advanced. Your opinion depends on who you voted for back then. I voted for Reagan, Dukakis, Perot, Clinton, Clinton, Clinton, and Obama. (I think I missed something in there, didn't I put in a vote for Gore somewhere? Or was it that other liberal guy? What is his name... you know... the one who was all about the environment?... Yeah, Him.) Ok, so that is about the extent of my political involvement. Don't expect anything else. I am more concerned with what happens in my little tiny world than the bigger picture. Yes, the big stuff affects me, but not as immediately as, say, my kids homework issues, or what we will eat for supper, or what I will plant on my Farmville today, or whether or not I will actually be awake for more hours than I sleep in a day. Gotta set some priorities, right?

Speaking of priorities... my iPhone is croaking at me, which means that I have some frogs maturing, and since I am now totally distracted and leaning toward a nonsensical ramble, I will sign off for now.

Can't wait to see where we go tomorrow...