Today was an epic fail on so many levels, it is hard to even write anything at all tonight.
Started out with me going to sleep about 1 am, and then not actually falling into deep sleep until almost 3 or so.
Turned out my Younger son (11 years old), had a headache, and couldn't sleep himself. After a few rounds of hugs, kisses and reassurances, he finally went back to his bed, Husband went and slept in there with him. I was keeping Husband up with my aggravating annoying coughing, and I do not blame him one bit for going to sleep elsewhere. This is one of those things that early in our marriage, I would have taken personally and as rejection, but learned to take it for what it is. We are both tired. He has to go to work early in the morning. He cannot sleep if I am hacking away, and tossing and turning. Common sense lets him go find a place he can sleep in peace. I am ok with this. Partly because MY tossing and turning was causing HIM to toss and turn, and that made it near impossible for either of us to sleep... and it is ok, because he was able to actually comfort our Younger, so he could sleep well, too.
So.... I needed to be up on time today (4:45 am) so that I could take a bath and get ready for my volunteering at school. I asked Husband to turn the light on and make sure I was up before he left for work. He did. I did. And then.... Ok... *****here is a TMI warning***** I couldn't leave the bathroom. I have been on two rounds of antibiotics, and since there is no way to put this delicately, I have the runs. Ok... I said it... ugh!!! Sorry... 3 days of this has taken its toll and my bottom is on fire. : - ( Add that to the inevitable bread baking down there, I am just NOT comfortable at all. So I never got into the shower before I had to get the kids up and ready.
Then I get the boys up, and Younger has a headache. Older says he only got 5 minutes of sleep. (That is nothing new, though) So we go thru our normal morning routine, washing hair, brushing teeth, getting dressed, etc... and Younger still had a headache. I gave him a tylenol, and fed him, and we left to go to school. As we sat waiting for Younger's school to open, he said his headache was not getting better, so I gave him an advil. I debated just keeping him home, but second guessed myself. He thought he was fine, and went to school.
I came home, and fully intended to shower to get ready to be back at the school for 9 am, and guess what happened? I felt so uncomfortable, I went back to bed. Husband came home for lunch at 10 and about 10:15 the phone rang, and it was the school. Fletcher was feeling so badly. I picked him up, and got in touch with the doctor who said to be there at 1, and they would squeeze us in. at 2, we left the doctor's office and went to pick up Older, then back to the doctor. Finally we get seen, he tested "very positive" for strep. The doctor checks both of their throats, and says Older will most likely be sick tomorrow, so we will see her again tomorrow... LOL... Really??? Just write the script now, and save us from all the waiting again... LOL... but it is ok.
So I didn't get to go to the Family Focus thing at school, didn't get to help out the book fair, and spent the afternoon with a ton of sick kids at the doctor's office. My boys seem to be just fine except for the headache. We came home and guess what I did? Ate the supper my Husband cooked (delish, by the way!) and then went back to bed.
I could make a thousand excuses for hibernating like I did today, I know it is justifiable, but I am still disappointed in myself. One of my ongoing goals is to stay awake more hours than I sleep in a 24 hour period. And today, I didn't meet that goal. I wasn't there for my boys for the hours that I slept, I wasn't there for the school, I wasn't there for me. I am dealing with the guilt of it.
I will keep trying, though. I will not give up! I will do my best every day to stay on track, and work on my journey as I can!!!!!
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